I'm moving out from my house in 2 days :""""(
i really dont want to do it. i dont want to leave this house and leave all the memories behind.
i dont want to leave my grandparents. I know i never really did anything with them anyway, but it feels nice when you know you have some people to come home to. So I dont feel alone.
I dont want my maids and driver to be laid off. THEY'RE FAMILY TO ME! They've been with me since my MOM was in COLLEGE. I wasnt even born yet and they've been working for my family!!! Most of the times they're my true family. the ones who take care of me (bathe me, feed me, etc) bcs my parents are always busy...mom working 9 to 5 and dad, well, he's always out of town. :(
I DONT WANT TO LEAVE MY FRIENDS bcs im terrified that i wont be able to make friends over there.
Im afraid of going to college.
im afraid of the seniority that's going to be super tough on me for God knows how long.
I'm afraid i won't like college.
I'm afraid i wont like my major and i'll fail.
........i'm just paranoid about everything :(
despite all that, i'm trying to keep thinking about all the positive things. (which i dont find that many :s) And tomorrow night i'm going to host a farewell party with 3 of my other friends who will also be leaving town soon :"""( there will be lots of food and laughing and crying and people taking pictures...I know for sure i'm gonna cry like a baby. And i dont mind, i wont hide anything. I'm sad, terribly TERRIBLY sad that i have to leave them all, my family and friends. And i dont want to pretend to be strong, because Im not. And i'm just hoping all my paranoia will NOT come true and i'll have the BEST time in college! Amen :) :) :)
well..i guess for now i'm closing my chapter here and will begin shortly with a new one. I hope it'll be wonderful!
